Tuesday 12 February 2013

Last Laugh Comedy Club, Sheffield

An unsolicited email from Last Laugh Comedy Club, Sheffield.

From: [removed]@aol.com
To: doctordukeguy 'at' googlemail dot com

An old friend of the Last Laugh returns to one of his favourite clubs this Thursday at the Lescar. Paul Sinha is well known for his work on ITV1’s The Chase but its stand up comedy where he really shines. Joining Paul is Danny McLoughlin mcing, plus support.

Date – Thurs 14 Feb – Doors 8pm Show 8 30pm
Venue – Lescar, Sharrowvale Rd
Tickets - £8 / £5 NUS www.wegottickets.com/sheffieldcomedy
Details www.lastlaughcomedy.com

DANNY MCLOUGHLIN
"McLoughlin's main weapon is his audacity: he's so bold he can recite an advertising jingle and still get plenty of laughs"- Chortle

Danny McLoughlin has the sharp wit & material, likeable persona and strong stage presence that have seen him become a much sought after act in his short time as a stand up. A finalist in the Chortle Student Comedian of The Year in 2008, Danny went on to perform as part of the prestigious Big Value Comedy


.....[etc.etc. it goes on like this for a few more hundred words basically advertising what's coming up]

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From: doctordukeguy 'at' googlemail dot com
To: [removed]@aol.com



Hi,

Can you take me off your mailing list please.

It's not that I don't like the comedy club in Sheffield - I've been several times and it's always been a wondrous hoot - however, I moved to Washington DC, USA about 2 years ago and while I love to have my sides thoroughly split from joyous laughter and much guffawing - unless you are willing to shell out the £700 flight and a couple of nights accommodation (I'll pay the £8 club ticket price, I'm not a monster) then the marketing emails just using up internet resources that could be better allocated for looking at lolcats or watching Gangnam Style remakes on youtube.

Thanks!

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From: [removed]@aol.com
To: doctordukeguy 'at' googlemail dot com


No problem, sorry used an old mailing list which I've now deleted.

We'll let you know if we can sort a benefit gig for the flight costs though.

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From: doctordukeguy 'at' googlemail dot com
To: [removed]@aol.com



Thanks - I will politely decline your offer, however, you should hold a benefit gig and use the money to invest in a decent email address - the last time I saw 'AOL' anywhere was when I used one of their free CDs as an emergency coaster back in 1999

lastlaughcomedy.co.uk should be able to allocate you an email address with their suffix that you could use via an SMTP/POP client or similar.  If they know how to do this kind of thing.  If not, I can walk them through it for the price of a return flight and 2 nights stay in the classiest hotel in Sheffield - Riverside Court.

Laters.




Sunday 5 December 2010

Sony Playstion America


This is to Sony Playstation America. A bit of background - I moved to the US and I have an online account with Sony for playing PS3 online. However, you cannot change the registered country so it's screwed me over when it comes to connecting - especially to the EA games


From: doctordukeguy 'at' googlemail dot com
Date: 12/03/2010 07:09 AM
Subject: Online Account Change
To: [Via Sony PS website]


Hi,

I have just moved to the US from the UK (have to move where the work is these days) and I have obviously brought my PS network online ID with me...great move! It's a pretty unique name which I'm known for in online communities, not just the PSNetwork - my username is: [my online username]

..see! no numbers or special characters, it's pretty awesome. Anyway, I bought a new PS3 when I arrive in the US..it was one of the first things I bought, even though I don't have a car, or a permanent place to live - I have a PS3, so everything is going to be just fine.

Now, however, I have a problem - my PS3 thinks that I'm in the UK, I'm assuming that's because my online name was registered there. I can't find a way to change it as the country is greyed out in the account options. Can you change this for me please? I can't log into the EA servers for NHL11 (or, I would imagine - any other game) because my EA account does not match the same country as my PSnetwork one, leaving me - in essence - with only half a game's worth of content if I can't get online.

Thanks, I really appreciate your time - keep up the good work!

Regards,

Doctor Duke Guy

===============================================

From: playstation@mailnj.custhelp.com
Date: 3 December 2010 10:09
Subject: Hi, I have just moved to the US from the UK
To: doctordukeguy 'at' gmail dot com


Reply from SONY:

Hello Doctor Guy,

I am pleased to know that the PlayStation(R)Network and PlayStation(R)3 computer entertainment system are serving your gaming needs well. As well, the kind words are appreciate.

Please know however, that once the account is created and the region is saved to our server it cannot be edited or changed.

To access Electronic Arts' servers for NHL11 you may need to create a new account.

I do apologize.


Regards,
Shebvon A.



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From: doctordukeguy 'at' gmail dot com
Date: 3 December 2010 12:08
Subject: RE: Hi, I have just moved to the US from the UK
To: playstation@mailnj.custhelp.com

Hi again,

I have had this online account for years and now I am supposed to abandon it because I've moved countries? I can't imagine to tell you how much this has affected my admiration for Sony Playstation and it's people.

What you are suggesting is tantamount to moving to the US and then being told that I have to change my name because 'John Smith' is a UK name just wont work over in the US - I feel that you are discriminating against me because of my nomadic lifestyle. A company such as yours really should be fair and not discriminate against anyone because of their background. It's bordering on racism.

Please, just go onto the servers and change my account to a US one - wipe the whole thing clean if you have to...or just delete the whole account and then tell me that you have done so, so that I can re-register using the same username. That should be easy - it will probably be, press TRIANGLE, then move down to 'delete' press X then select press X again on OK when it asks 'You are about to delete [my online username], are you sure?'. Then CIRCLE a few times and you'll be back to the main screen.

Thanks! Let me know when you have done either so I can continue to live my life without prejudice.

Doctor Duke Guy

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From: playstation@mailnj.custhelp.com
Date: 6 December 2010 09:44
Subject: Hi, I have just moved to the US from the UK
To: doctordukeguy 'at' gmail dot com

 Thank you for writing us regarding changing the country on your PlayStation(R)Network account and we apologize for any inconvenience. Unfortunately, once a PlayStation Network account has been created, the country/region of residence cannot be changed. If you would like to use a different country/region of residence, you will have to create a new PSN account.

The following Knowledge Center article will give you more information on how to create a new account on your PlayStation(R)3 computer entertainment system:

Article Title: Using different Sign-in IDs (E-mail)
Article Link: http://playstation.custhelp.com/app/...etail/a_id/348

Keep in mind that you will not lose your current account. You can have more than one account, however, in order to access the North American PlayStation Network, you will need to register an account with a U.S. or Canadian address.

Regards,
J. Carrillo


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From: doctordukeguy 'at' gmail dot com
Date: 6 December 2010 14:01
Subject: RE: Hi, I have just moved to the US from the UK
To: playstation@mailnj.custhelp.com

Hi,

Thanks for the information - however, this is the same information that you sent me the last time. The account - [my online username] - is mine, I've had it for a long time (check the records). As such I want the account deleting from the Sony Playstation network...completely.

Once you have done that I will register the name again at my new location in the US. I fail to see how this is hard to do or understand- just delete the account so I can re-register the name in North America. I don't want another account name, the one I have is the one I want to use.

Remember your slogan - 'It only does everything' well either you remove my account from your system or change my account to North America - or you will have to change your slogan to something that isn't a lie...maybe: 'it only does everything apart from if you move countries and then it only does half the things it did before' - admittedly, it's a little more convoluted - but it's infinitely more accurate.

Please do not email me back with the same information, I'm looking for solutions, not problems.


Thanks,

Doctor Duke Guy

Monday 17 August 2009

Sheffield Wednesday

This is to Sheffield Wednesday Football Club, and a very sombre, scary serious reply:

From: doctordukeguy 'at' googlemail dot com
Date: Sun, Aug 16, 2009 at 1:46 PM
Subject: Special requirements for match day
To: enquiries@[removed].co.uk


Dear Enquires of SWFC,



I am planning on attending the glorious stadia of Hillsborough, where I am told that the team Sheffield Wednesday reside at on home fixtures. However, I have a unique attribute that I am forewarning you of before I purchase my tickets. I am asking this because I would need assurances that everything within your remit is prepared and available on the day of my attendance.

My problem is that I bear an uncanny, twin-like, doppelganger resemblance to your ex-chairman Dave Allen. I have received many comments on this resemblance - not always complimentary either, I can assure you of that.

However, I do not feel that my appearances should hold me back from doing things that I enjoy, one of them being attending football matches whenever I am in a new city (I travel around the country as part of my occupation). The reason I am writing you is to ask you whether you can provide at least 2 stewards and/or a police escort to my seat in the "Kop" end (where I would like to sit). I would also require constant security during the game in progress, and additional security on my egress from the ground (I would envisage that staffing levels will be variable; depending on the result of the game)

I'm sure that a professional outfit like yourself can accommodate my request, and I have been told that the people of Sheffield and the staff and employ in Hillsborough have always willing and gracious to help and assist as much as humanly possible.

If a posse of personal stewards and/or a police escort is not possible - then can you suggest any other alternatives? I believe that you also have private boxes; could I be seated there? If it helps, I will wear a baseball cap and a fake moustache, although I have tried this before and it has only exacerbated the problem when I have been invariably recognised as being Mr D.Allen (strangely, we also share a passion for pigeons WE ARE NOT RELATED).

Your Sincerely,
Doctor Duke Guy
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From: John Rutherford john.rutherford@[removed].com
Date: Mon, Aug 17, 2009 at 4:20 PM
Subject: Special requirements
To: doctordukeguy 'at' googlemail dot com

Doctor Guy,



Thank you for your message the contents of which are noted.

Please note that the Club cannot provide the personal protection that you have requested.

Should you choose to attend the match you must provide your own close personal protection and must purchase valid match tickets for yourself and any close protection personnel that attend with you.

Please note that any close protection staff that attend with you must be licensed through the SIA, and must carry with them their SIA close protection badge. I would prefer advance notice if you attend with a close protection team in order that I may brief my Safety Team and the Police commander.

Corporate boxes are available from £1,000 (+VAT) per match for a party of up to 10 people. Please let me know if you wish to pursue this option and I will ask our commercial department to contact you with further details.

Should your presence in the Stadium present any crowd control or public order issues the Club reserves the right to ask you and your support to leave the stadium and failure to comply with the request to leave may result in your ejection from the stadium.

Any request for Police resources should be made direct to South Yorkshire Police (SYP), and I would expect SYP to charge you for any resources that they make available to you.


John Rutherford
Stadium Operations Manager
Sheffield Wednesday FC